If we have to say, there is a real “game” in this world, Na Kexia may be one of the answers. You see, he is standing there, with layers of nothingness behind him and materials and light cones piling up in front of him. No one will really understand him, and every step forward means more loneliness. All the collections, all the breakthroughs, the final outcome may not be the increase of power, but the helplessness that makes people more painful. You can’t escape this process, whether you want it or not, this game must be finished.
Na Kexia is a character in “Honkai Impact 3: Star Dome Railway”. His existence is like a portrayal of each of our lives – constantly accumulating, advancing step by step like a machine, as if any moment of stopping will be abandoned by the world. Yes, his breakthrough requires a lot of materials, from “ethereal omen” to “eternal elegy”, from “sketch” to “exquisite color draft”, these seemingly meaningless materials, but they make up the whole of his life.
1. Accumulation and the absurdity of life
I once heard an old man say that life is an inescapable game. Wherever you go, there will be new levels and new challenges until you finally die. And every breakthrough is a sacrifice for you. The story of Na Kexia may be a response to this sentence. He needs a breakthrough, constantly acquiring resources, and putting these materials into his life like a machine. Do you think these light cones and these materials will bring any turnaround? No, these things are just individual fragments, and will eventually become a pile of meaningless waste.
With every breakthrough, he only gets more powerful power, but is this really what he needs? He keeps accumulating and finally stands under the light, but still has not found his destination. For him, these light cones and materials may not be relief, but a deep burden. You see, his world is full of emptiness and nothingness. Every breakthrough is a compromise with reality, and every success means deeper helplessness.
2. From Collection to Breakthrough: Inescapable Loneliness
The process of Na Kexia collecting materials is very similar to our daily life: working non-stop, getting some rewards, but not necessarily filling the emptiness in our hearts. Every breakthrough, every upgrade, seems to bring him closer to a certain goal, but this goal is always far away and can never be reached. And these materials, after continuous accumulation, ultimately bring him a deeper sense of loneliness in his heart.
In Yu Hua’s “To Live”, Fugui insisted on surviving through hardships again and again, but his life did not bring any real relief. On the contrary, his life was full of unavoidable pain. Na Kexia is the same. Although he has collected countless materials and achieved countless breakthroughs, his inner loneliness and emptiness are like an invisible chain that binds him to an inescapable fate. Those seemingly bright breakthroughs are just another kind of oppression in life.
3. The symbol of light cone and the deep dilemma of human beings
Nakexia’s exclusive light cone, named “Life should be burned to ashes”, sounds full of a certain sense of tragedy. Every time he breaks through and obtains a light cone, perhaps he is not becoming stronger, but heading towards a destination where he cannot turn back through repeated self-sacrifices. This light cone does not seem to be a tool for salvation, but rather a sharp blade that guides him to the abyss. Just like the common plot in Yu Hua’s novels – the protagonist seems to have finally obtained some kind of relief after going through hardships again and again, but the final ending is often full of unexpected tragedies.
Everyone’s life seems to be spent in constant breakthroughs and sacrifices. The light cone in Na Kexia’s hand is a symbol of this sacrifice. It seems dazzling, but in fact it hides the destruction of life. Just like in Yu Hua’s words, those painful memories and those irreparable losses are an inevitable part of the protagonist’s life. These light cones seem to bring Na Kexia strength, but in fact they are silently reminding him: the real power does not come from breakthroughs, but from inner acceptance and letting go.
4. The trajectory of fate and the fate that cannot be broken
The life of each of us may be like Na Kexia’s footprints, full of the process of continuous progress and breakthroughs. You think you are chasing a goal, but you don’t know that the goal has become blurred and even lost its original meaning. In Yu Hua’s “Brothers”, the fate of the two brothers is destined to take a road of no return. No matter how hard they try, they can’t get rid of the ending set by fate.
The fate of Na Kexia is very similar to those unchangeable destinies. Every material he collects and every breakthrough he makes can’t really change his life. He will eventually find that all the light cones, breakthroughs, and even power are just an illusion of nothingness, and real life still makes him breathless.
5. Loneliness and the final return
Whenever I think of Na Kexia, an indescribable sense of heaviness emerges in my heart. His breakthroughs will never end, and his world will never escape that loneliness. The life of each of us may be like his, full of inevitable struggles and helplessness. You may be happy about some breakthroughs at a certain moment, but when you look back, you will find that those breakthroughs bring you deeper loneliness and emptiness.
In Yu Hua’s works, people can never escape the oppression of life. No matter how they struggle, they will eventually return to the starting point. That moment, Xia, like each of us, was walking on this inescapable road, looking for his own liberation, but he could never really touch the real self.